Pumpkin Pie Green Monsta

I am a green juice girl. Every morning I start my day with juiced greens, vegetables and fruits. It wakes me up and does wonders for my skin, energy levels and overall sense of  well-being. It’s my morning coffee, only better!

Recently, however, I’ve become intrigued by green smoothies. Instead of juicing my greens, why not blend them? The difference is whether or not I want the fibers.

The chlorophyll in green juice is readily absorbed into your blood stream, so you reap immediate, ultra-cleansing results. Also, your digestive system doesn’t have to do a damned thing, as there is no bulk in juice. A blended green smoothie, however, includes the fibers from the greens, thus your digestive system does a little work, but your body benefits from the smoothies’ high fiber content.  Both have their respective perks–I’ve always just been a juice girl.

But, as it were, curiosity leads me to make such amazingly yummy things. I think I’ve been proselytized to smoothie-dom. This shi’ is just delicious 🙂

And for those who are looking at the green and thinking grass: get over it! I swear it tastes great, and c’mon, it’s your health. Get with it!

Pumpkin Pie Green Monster


  • 1/2 head of romaine
  • 4-5 stalks kale
  • 1/2 green apple
  • 3/4 cup coconut water (doesn’t have to be fresh, but preferably so)
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
  • 3-4 drops liquid stevia or 1 tsp of honey

Serves 1


Release some anger and crack open that coconut with the edge of a sharp knife. Envision the coconut to be a ball of negativity (or your ex).

Nothing beats fresh young coconut juice. It goes through a 9-month filtration process as it grows and is extremely hydrating. Fun ‘lil fact–coconut juice has the same electrolyte balance as blood and during WWII, when IV solutions were scarce, doctors used coconut water as an IV drip for patients. COoOoOol!

Separate 3/4 cup of the water from the coconut (more or less depending on how thin/thick you like your smoothie) and drink the rest.

Save the inside flesh for a later recipe (coming in the next few days).

You can save it like that in the fridge or scoop out the insides and put in a sealed container until you’re ready to use it.

Next comes the blending. To the coconut water, add the romaine, kale and apple.

You can add the whole apple, but I just added half. I wanted to make this smoothie to have as little sugar as possible while still being tasty.  A lot of green smoothies overdo the fruit and it just ends up being a sweet dessert.

Time to blend up in hurrr!

You have to pulse, move it around with a spoon, then pulse again until it’s all beautifully combined.

Then comes the pumpkin pie spice.  I love the taste of pumpkin pie–it’s homey, warm and complements the thickness of the smoothie.

Blend just until it mixes, then pour into a glass cup to entertain yourself from all angles. Later you can say, “Yup, I drank that” and feel good.

But, I was a bit in a hurry this morning, so I packed this monster up in a coffee mug, added a few drops of stevia (which makes a great difference) and head out the door.

This was amazing!

Bottoms up!


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